A former Love Island contestant says it “took her breath away” to discover that someone removing a condom during sex is classified as rape.
Stealthing, as it is known, happens when someone removes a condom during consensual sex without informing the other person.
Megan Barton-Hanson says she experienced this up to six times, with a man claiming the condom had split on each occasion, leading to her having an abortion.
“I didn’t know it was a crime,” the 30-year-old tells the BBC.
“I just thought that’s something between partners that you have to discuss with them.”
Megan added that she knew his actions were “unfair and unjust” but it was only in a recording of the We Need to Talk podcast, when host Paul C Brunson told her, that she realised the man’s actions were rape.
“I’d never heard of stealthing, ever,” she says.
“When we started to have sex, the condom was obviously on – that was fine – and then at the end, he’d removed it intentionally but his excuse was ‘it split and it broke’.
“It was shocking.”
The Metropolitan Police says stealthing is a slang word but the practice is legally considered rape, although prosecutions are rare due to under-reporting, as many do not realise it is an offence.
In October, a University College London (UCL) survey showed just over one in 10 people aged 18-25 did not consider non-consensual condom removal to be sexual assault.
Andrea Simon, executive director of End Violence Against Women and Girls, says although sex can start off consensually, if someone violates that consent by removing a condom, it is considered rape and it can be prosecuted as rape.
“It’s very hard to know the prevalence of stealthing, as not many people may understand it as actually an act of sexual violence or a crime,” she explains.
“It’s really important that men, in particular, understand that it’s criminal behaviour to intentionally remove a condom during sex without consent and we know that it speaks very much to men’s sense of entitlement over women’s bodies and it’s a violation of women’s bodily autonomy.”
The issue was explored in the fourth episode of BBC drama I May Destroy You in 2020, where the main character Arabella has sex with a man who removes the condom without her knowledge.
Arabella doesn’t realise it’s rape until she hears it discussed on a podcast.
‘Criminal behaviour’
The seriousness of this form of sexual violence is accurately reflected in the language we use to talk about it, according to Ciara Bergman, chief executive of Rape Crisis England and Wales.
“So-called stealthing is a form of rape under English and Welsh law,” she says.
“If someone has received consent for sex on the basis that they will wear a condom and they then remove the condom without the other person’s knowledge or permission, consent for sex from that point is lost.”
Megan’s advice to someone who may have concerns is clear.
She says: “I think if you’ve got any kind of suspicions, red flags, tell a friend, tell someone and then you can go together and share to the police.
“You don’t have to make it a big old deal; you can call from the comfort of your own home, but I think definitely reach out to somebody because it’s not fair and it’s not OK.”
By BBC News
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