A eulogy is a heartfelt speech delivered at a funeral or memorial service to honour and remember someone who has passed away. Writing a eulogy can feel overwhelming, especially during a time of grief, but it’s also a meaningful way to reflect on the person’s life, share memories, and offer comfort to others. A well-written eulogy helps preserve the legacy of the departed and brings people together through shared remembrance. Here is how to write a eulogy.
- Understand the Purpose of a Eulogy
Before you begin writing, take a moment to understand what a eulogy is meant to do. It’s not just a list of achievements, but a personal tribute that celebrates who the person was — their character, values, and the impact they had on others. It should reflect your relationship with the person and what made them special.
- Collect Thoughts and Memories
Think about your relationship with the person who passed away. Write down specific memories, stories, and qualities that stand out. You can also speak with other family members or friends to gather their thoughts or favourite moments. Try to include:
- Their personality traits (kindness, humour, strength)
- Their passions, hobbies, or talents
- Memorable moments you shared
- The roles they played in people’s lives (parent, friend, mentor)
- Create a Clear Structure
A good eulogy usually follows a simple structure that helps guide your thoughts and makes it easier for the audience to follow.
Introduction:
Start by introducing yourself and briefly explaining your relationship to the person. Thank everyone for being there.
Example:
Good morning, everyone. My name is Thuli, and I had the honour of calling Nomsa my aunt and lifelong friend. Thank you all for coming today to celebrate her life.
Body:
Share stories, memories, and qualities that capture who the person was. You may talk about their childhood, career, achievements, family life, and values. Use humour where appropriate, and be honest but respectful.
Example:
Nomsa had a laugh that filled every room. Whether she was baking scones or telling stories about her school days, she made everyone feel seen and heard.
Conclusion:
Wrap up with a final thought or message. This could be a farewell, a quote, a prayer, or a reflection on what you learned from them.
Example:
As we say goodbye, let us carry Nomsa’s kindness and warmth forward in our own lives. Her light lives on in each of us.
- Keep It Personal and Genuine
There is no need to be overly formal or use complicated words. Speak from the heart, and keep your tone warm and respectful. The best eulogies are simple, honest, and filled with love. It’s okay to show emotion — tears and laughter are both part of remembering someone deeply.
- Practice and Keep It Brief
Aim to keep the eulogy between 3 to 5 minutes long. Practice reading it aloud several times to become comfortable with the words. This will also help you manage your emotions during the delivery. Have a printed copy with you, and if you’re too overwhelmed to continue while speaking, it’s okay to pause or ask someone to finish reading for you.
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