The pop star Lil Nas X has said he is “doing much better” and feels “less fear in my heart” after a mental health episode that culminated in his arrest last August.
In a moving, three-minute video statement, the musician shared that he had “been in rehab for a few months”, after which he returned home to Atlanta to be with his family.
It was the star’s first major update since last summer, when he was charged with attacking Los Angeles police officers after being found walking the streets in his underwear. He pleaded not guilty.
In April, a judge allowed the 27-year-old, whose real name is Montero Hill, to enter a mental health programme that will eventually lead to the charges being dismissed.
‘I’m doing much better’
The Grammy Award-winner was eligible because of a subsequent diagnosis of bipolar disorder, with the judge noting Hill’s behaviour at the time of his arrest had been “aberrant from his normal conduct”.
Bipolar disorder is a lifelong mental health condition characterised by alternating periods of intense emotional highs and deep emotional lows.
Speaking on Instagram, Hill acknowledged that his diagnosis had been long overdue.
“I feel like I had known for like the past few years, but I didn’t want to admit to it because I didn’t want to have to take medication and, I don’t know, have people think different of me,” he said.
The musician said he had previously felt that his life posed enough challenges without the addition of a mental health problem.
“I mean, I’m already black and gay, like, damn, God,” he joked. “Gay, bipolar, like I’m living life on extreme hard mode.
“But on a serious note, I’m doing much better, I’m feeling better, I’m creating freely, and there’s less fear in my heart. I’m just smelling the roses.”
The video statement saw Hill looking healthy, addressing the camera in front of a clear blue sky. He read from pre-prepared notes, acknowledging that he felt “awkward” and nervous to be talking after an extended break from social media.
The Atlanta-raised artist is best known for his breakout hit Old Town Road – a mixture of country and rap that spent a record 19 weeks at number one on the US charts, and won him two Grammys.
He followed it up with a series of genre-confounding singles like Montero (Call Me By Your Name) and Industry Baby, that established him both as a queer icon and a master manipulator of TikTok’s algorithm.
In 2023, Elton John hand-picked the musician to perform ahead of him on Glastonbury’s Pyramid Stage.
Towards the end of his video statement, Hill said he wasn’t ready to return to pop stardom “just yet” – but promised there was “new music on the way”
“I’ve been doing music for seven years now,” Lil Nas X said in switching gears near the end of the clip. “I wanted to let you guys know there is new music on the way.”
He finished by addressing his fans directly.
“We’ve been through so much together. Thank you guys for holding me down.
“I love you and all I want to do is continue to try to make you proud and make myself proud.”
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